I did it again, Damn it...

I did it again, Even though i promised....


I did it again, Even though I promised never to do it again.

I even threw anything that would tempt me,

Asking others to do it so I wouldn't keep them.

And even though I know I shouldn't,

No one was home,

And it was there, shining at me.

I took it and it was cold.

And even though I know I shouldn't,

I felt refreshed.

I felt scared.

But I was happy. For a moment.

Damn I really do hate myself.

I thought I changed.

But what I really thought was what others thought.

I'm still the same.

I dare grab the reflecting shine again

For boredom, and most importantly,

For the sake of telling myself the truth.

I’m sad,

I hate myself,

And I would never forget that I’m insane.